Space

The crowds are driving me crazy! The weather is horrible, my clothes are out of style after wearing them once, my house wont stay clean and the long weekend is coming up and Nick had to book it for Annual Leave if he wanted it off and didn’t, so now Ill be wasting a 4 day weekend when I couldve taken a trip somewhere. Get out of the city. Why didn’t I plan this earlier?!

The crowds really do drive me crazy. I think they make me anxious which isnt looking good considering Im right smack in the middle of them every single day. Everywhere I go, train to work, lunch out of the office, grocery store after work, train home. Crowds everywhere, people stepping on the back of my shoe or bumping into me knocking my bag off my shoulder or people blowing smoke in my face. Maybe my 2 trips out to the countryside has this hate-city effect on me.

I feel me and London have a love-hate relationship. I love it when it sunny, warm, crowdless and I have time to wander along the river or through back shopping streets or markets. I hate it when its rainy, crowded, too cold or too hot and I lost out on my wander time.

There is so many people here.You cant get a seat on trains, buses, in pubs, take-away food joints. Shops don’t have parking lots, on sunny days, parks don’t have empty benches and when they are empty theres pigeon shit all over it so noone will sit there anyway.

This has to be taking its toll on me. I don’t look people in the eye on the street. If someone bumps into me I don’t bother turning to them and acknowledging their clumsiness coz they don’t turn to me. I ignore them. The cashiers don’t even say Hi to me so I don’t to them. Business is done on the internet and phone so when you do actually need to get money out of the bank, they make it really difficult and I just cant handle them. I havent even met my next door neighbours.

Ill never forget what they say about the US coasts. Live in LA once, but leave before it makes you too soft. Live in New York once but leave before it makes you too hard.

This can be my London. How do these people do it for years and years on end? I guess we're so busy that we dont notice how fast time goes by. This is the start of my fourth year here. I feel as if Ive aged a lifetime.