I think Im coming to peace about it now. It will be less than a month before I see him again. (Visa depending) Oh, and of course, immersing myself back into London again. Its not that I hated it, its because it turned me into this person I didnt like. I started spending all my money, living off paycheck by paycheck. Nick is no better. Were pretty shit that way, but its so hard not having money there. There is so much I want to do and see and getting paid once a month really makes you have to budget. I want to take lots of trips, see lots of England (now that we have a reliable car) and more of Europe. I also started being really dependent on him, for company sake. And he would go drinking with his work mates and leave me alone on friday nights. I resented that. But whats wrong with me? Hes not here and Im perfectly fine alone, no matter which night. Why did I become this needy person who threw tantrums when he went drinking/socializing without me? What is going to make me not go back to doing it again? I guess thats what scared me.
I actually loved London. I just hated what London did to me. What do I have to do to not let it happen again?
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